Celebrating an anniversary is a wonderful milestone, but adding a touch of humor makes the occasion even more memorable. Whether it’s a wedding anniversary or another significant date, funny quotes can lighten the mood and add joy to the celebration. Here are 101 of the best funny quotes to bring laughter to your special day.
Funny Quotes About Marriage
“Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.”
Author: Joyce Brothers
Description:
A humorous reminder that marriage involves practical responsibilities too.
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”
Author: Henny Youngman
Description:
A witty take on the elusive nature of a perfect marriage.
“A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
Comparing marriage to cooking, emphasizing the hidden efforts.
“Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.”
Author: Ogden Nash
Description:
Highlighting the often humorous differences in memory between partners.
“My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.”
Author: Jack Benny
Description:
A comedian’s take on the ups and downs of long-term marriage.
“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”
Author: Agatha Christie
Description:
A clever twist on aging and interest in relationships.
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
Author: Rita Rudner
Description:
A humorous perspective on lifelong commitment.
“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?”
Author: Groucho Marx
Description:
Marx’s classic comedic take on marriage as an institution.
“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.”
Author: Ann Bancroft
Description:
Using reverse psychology in marriage for comedic effect.
“Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.”
Author: Gilbert K. Chesterton
Description:
A dramatic and funny comparison of marriage to a battle.
Funny Quotes About Love
“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.”
Author: Joan Crawford
Description:
A humorous take on the unpredictable nature of love.
“Love is like a faucet, it turns off and on.”
Author: Billie Holiday
Description:
Comparing love to a faucet to emphasize its variability.
“Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.”
Author: Cathy Carlyle
Description:
Highlighting the unpredictability of love with an electric blanket analogy.
“Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.”
Author: Woody Allen
Description:
Woody Allen’s witty take on the relationship between love and sex.
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
Author: Groucho Marx
Description:
Marx’s humorous perspective on marriage and legal proceedings.
“I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.”
Author: Elizabeth Evans
Description:
A funny comparison between love and the need for coffee.
“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.”
Author: Albert Einstein
Description:
Einstein’s humorous scientific twist on the concept of falling in love.
“Love is sharing your popcorn.”
Author: Charles Schultz
Description:
A lighthearted way to describe love through sharing snacks.
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
Author: Charles M. Schulz
Description:
Combining love with the joy of chocolate in a funny way.
“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”
Author: Lily Tomlin
Description:
Tomlin’s witty take on the complexities of love.
Funny Quotes About Anniversaries
“Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A humorous observation on dynamics in marriage.
“It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
Author: Rita Rudner
Description:
Finding humor in the lifelong companionship of marriage.
“You be my glass of wine, I’ll be your shot of whiskey.”
Author: Blake Shelton
Description:
A playful comparison of different types of love in a relationship.
“A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance, and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.”
Author: Paul Sweeney
Description:
A funny but true look at the changing nature of anniversaries.
“Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.”
Author: Robert Browning
Description:
A lighthearted encouragement to look forward to the future together.
“Anniversaries remind you of how long you’ve been married, and that’s how much longer your husband will take to put his socks away.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A comical take on common marital habits.
“Forever is a long time, but I wouldn’t mind spending it by your side.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A sweet yet humorous way to express commitment.
“I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow.”
Author: Edmond Rostand
Description:
Expressing the growth of love in a lighthearted way.
“Happy Anniversary! Now if I can just remember your birthday this year.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
Poking fun at the challenge of remembering important dates.
“We’ll be friends ’til we’re old and senile. … Then we’ll be new friends!”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A humorous take on growing old together.
Funny Quotes About Long-Term Relationships
“We’ve been married for 47 years, and we’ve never had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.”
Author: Jack Benny
Description:
Benny’s comedic take on the challenges of long-term marriage.
“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.”
Author: Audrey Hepburn
Description:
A sweet but funny way to emphasize the importance of partnership.
“Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.”
Author: Carroll Bryant
Description:
Comparing love to a constantly evolving project.
“The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.'”
Author: Unknown
Description:
Highlighting the small acts that contribute to a happy marriage.
“Marriage: when dating goes too far.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A humorous take on the progression from dating to marriage.
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
Author: Mignon McLaughlin
Description:
Emphasizing the ongoing effort in maintaining love with humor.
“Marriage is a workshop… where husband works and wife shops.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A funny observation on stereotypical marital roles.
“Never laugh at your spouse’s choices, you are one of them.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A light-hearted reminder to be kind in marriage.
“Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.”
Author: Fawn Weaver
Description:
A realistic but humorous take on lasting happiness.
“There is no remedy for love but to love more.”
Author: Henry David Thoreau
Description:
A romantic but funny view on the persistence of love.
Funny Quotes About Everyday Marriage Life
“Being married means mostly shouting, ‘What?’ from other rooms.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A comical depiction of common communication in marriage.
“My husband and I have never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce.”
Author: Dr. Joyce Brothers
Description:
A light-hearted take on the trials of marriage.
“Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”
Author: Phyllis Diller
Description:
Diller’s humorous advice on selecting a partner.
“A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
Highlighting the positive aspects of mutual appreciation with humor.
“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”
Author: Robert Quillen
Description:
Emphasizing the importance of forgiveness in marriage humorously.
“Marriage is a workshop… where husband works and wife shops.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A funny observation on stereotypical marital roles.
“The four most important words in any marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.'”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A funny yet practical piece of advice for married life.
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
Author: Jim Carrey
Description:
Carrey’s humorous take on marital dynamics.
“Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
Comparing marriage to a thrilling and unpredictable adventure.
“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.”
Author: Audrey Hepburn
Description:
A sweet but funny way to emphasize the importance of partnership.
Funny Quotes About Communication in Marriage
“Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
Highlighting the humorous side of decision-making in marriage.
“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
Description:
Dangerfield’s comedic take on honesty in marriage.
“My husband and I have never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce.”
Author: Dr. Joyce Brothers
Description:
A light-hearted take on the trials of marriage.
“Marriage is a workshop… where husband works and wife shops.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A funny observation on stereotypical marital roles.
“A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
Highlighting the positive aspects of mutual appreciation with humor.
“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”
Author: Robert Quillen
Description:
Emphasizing the importance of forgiveness in marriage humorously.
7. “Marriage is a workshop… where husband works and wife shops.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A funny observation on stereotypical marital roles.
“The four most important words in any marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.'”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A funny yet practical piece of advice for married life.
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
Author: Jim Carrey
Description:
Carrey’s humorous take on marital dynamics.
“Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
Comparing marriage to a thrilling and unpredictable adventure.
Funny Quotes About Growing Old Together
“Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.”
Author: Robert Browning
Description:
A lighthearted encouragement to look forward to the future together.
“We’ll be friends ’til we’re old and senile. … Then we’ll be new friends!”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A humorous take on growing old together.
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
Author: Mark Twain
Description:
Twain’s humorous perspective on aging.
“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
Author: Dr. Seuss
Description:
A sweet and funny take on the joy of being in love.
“The best thing about getting old is that all those things you couldn’t have when you were young you no longer want.”
Author: L.S. McCandless
Description:
A humorous observation on the desires that change with age.
“Growing old with someone you love is the best kind of life.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A sweet but funny way to look at aging together.
“As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
Author: Norman Wisdom
Description:
Wisdom’s humorous take on the effects of aging.
“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.”
Author: Bob Hope
Description:
Bob Hope’s funny perspective on feeling old.
“Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.”
Author: Fred Astaire
Description:
A humorous take on preparing for old age.
“The longer I live, the more I realize I should have lived more, loved more, and laughed more.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A reflective yet humorous quote on living life to the fullest.
Funny Quotes About Anniversary Traditions
“Anniversaries remind you of how long you’ve been married, and that’s how much longer your husband will take to put his socks away.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A comical take on common marital habits.
“Happy Anniversary! Now if I can just remember your birthday this year.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
Poking fun at the challenge of remembering important dates.
“Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.”
Author: Gilbert K. Chesterton
Description:
A dramatic and funny comparison of marriage to a battle.
“A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance, and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.”
Author: Paul Sweeney
Description:
A funny but true look at the changing nature of anniversaries.
“Anniversary: A time to celebrate the beauty, gift, and blessing of enduring love.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A humorous take on celebrating love’s endurance.
“An anniversary is a reminder as to why you love and married this person.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A funny yet heartfelt reason for celebrating anniversaries.
“On our anniversary, let’s celebrate being one year closer to death do us part.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A dark but funny twist on the wedding vow.
“It’s remarkable how long we’ve tolerated each other.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A humorous way to acknowledge the longevity of a relationship.
“We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A sweet and funny reminder of the strength in unity.
“Marriage is just fancy a word for adopting an overgrown man-child who can’t take care of himself.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A humorous observation on the realities of marriage.
Funny Quotes About Spousal Quirks
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
Description:
Dangerfield’s classic humor about the realities of marriage.
“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”
Author: Rita Rudner
Description:
Rudner’s funny comparison of piercings and marriage preparation.
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She gave me a hug.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A humorous play on words about spousal mistakes.
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
Author: Jim Carrey
Description:
Carrey’s humorous take on marital dynamics.
“Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
Comparing marriage to a thrilling and unpredictable adventure.
“My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong, and she agrees with me.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A funny take on the art of compromise in marriage.
“I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A humorous observation on marital dynamics.
“Husbands are the best people to share secrets with because they never remember them.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A light-hearted jab at husbands’ memories.
“My husband thinks I’m crazy, but he’s the one who married me.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A funny observation on the choice of a life partner.
“Marriage: when dating goes too far.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A humorous take on the progression from dating to marriage.
Funny Quotes About Celebrating Love
“Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.”
Author: George Burns
Description:
Burns’ humorous comparison of love to an unseen ailment.
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
Author: Charles M. Schulz
Description:
Combining love with the joy of chocolate in a funny way.
“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.”
Author: Joan Crawford
Description:
A humorous take on the unpredictable nature of love.
“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.”
Author: Jules Renard
Description:
A witty observation on the effects of love on the mind.
“Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.”
Author: Woody Allen
Description:
Woody Allen’s witty take on the relationship between love and sex.
“I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.”
Author: Elizabeth Evans
Description:
A funny comparison between love and the need for coffee.
“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.”
Author: Albert Einstein
Description:
Einstein’s humorous scientific twist on the concept of falling in love.
“Love is sharing your popcorn.”
Author: Charles Schultz
Description:
A lighthearted way to describe love through sharing snacks.
“Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.”
Author: Unknown
Description:
A funny observation on the risks of love.
“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”
Author: Lily Tomlin
Description:
Tomlin’s witty take on the complexities of love.
